ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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