I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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