Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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