They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
