We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
