But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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