What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
