Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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