i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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