see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
