Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think your dad took our porno
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
