Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
