I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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