I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
