Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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