i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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