I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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