Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize