Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My hand turned me down
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
