my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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