my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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