Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
