yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
