Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
