omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
