I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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