ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
