Can i not drive my cunt home
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Duck Duck Cougar?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
