I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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