anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize