please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Rumble strips road head = magical
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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