the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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