So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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