Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize