she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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