I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
