who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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