I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
