I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
