yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am midnight drunk by noon
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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