Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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