Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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