I got chris browned last night
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
