FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
smell my finger.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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