OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
