So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
