is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
birth control should be required to get into college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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