forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
