My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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