I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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