So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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