I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
