dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
