i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You took a bar mat shot.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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