Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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