Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
