Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
