i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
