Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize