There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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