You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize