i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
