she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
