The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
