its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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