Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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