me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
