Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize