i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
