i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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