On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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